Freak & Seek

When I started this blog I decided my ‘target audience’ should be the segment in society called: humans.  That’s right, I really don’t give a fuck who wants to come and read this shit.  You might be a millionaire reading with time to kill between stacking bills or you’re living a more casual cash-in hand lifestyle low on coin reading while sucking man stick for crazy crack and a biscuit. Whatever and whoever, just like with your local Community Legal Centre or the unmarked van with the blacked out windows parked in the laneway, Empress Evelyn welcomes all.   

But some of you out there are some real Mayor of Freaky Town type mother fuckers.  WordPress gives me a daily listing of the terms the peeps using the net have ‘searched’ for through search engines before somehow ending up at me, my picture, my posts etc whether meaning to or not.  Brothers and Sisters, what the fuck?:

– ‘Tijuana Hooker’:  That’s really offensive.  I’m Chinese, not Mexican.

–  ‘Cock Sucking Whores’: That’s really offensive.  Who said I ever asked to be paid.

–  ‘Chinese Person Waving’: Indeed, it’s me ‘waving away’ the money being paid.      

–  ‘Pheasant Puppets’: ?? Do I even mention this on my page anywhere? Interestingly, this search was made on the same day as the next one below, hopefully they’re not meant to be … ‘connected’ …    

–  ‘Anus’: I thought the picture I had up was of my face.  Is it that bad?

–  ‘Busty Asian’: Debatable.  But it’s all relative. I reckon I could easily score a gig at Hooters – Shanghai branch only though.  

– ‘Busty Fucks’, ‘Fuck Anus Women’ and ‘Fuck Bitch Friction’: I think I know what you’re after.  I can arrange this.

–  ‘Bush Pigs’: I think you’re after something like the above.  But with fat hairy people.  I can arrange this.

– ‘Armpits’:   Why would you search for one kind of body part?  With all the friction from the hardcore anus and bitch fucking going on, this must be some kind of ‘back up’ spot.  Man that’s nasty people, you all gots no shame.   

 – ‘Large Rusty Sign’:  Yes, if any part of your body is getting largely rusty, it’s a sign to ease up on all that back up armpit fucking …    

Sorry if all your items weren’t on my site as promised by your search engines.  Empress Ev hopes you eventually hit on what you were seeking for.    And also that your credit card payments weren’t rejected.  And also that your wife didn’t walk in while your pants were undone – as you squatted over your keyboard … So now you all know, it’s rock hard cock work trying to maintain a respectable fucking blog without getting some odd traffic from questionable searches for no damn big black double ended dildo horny Asian twins easy and ready kind of reason at all.