Em Press E in N.Y.C

Brooklyn bridge at night, New York city, NY.
Image via Wikipedia

Yeah that’s right – the title to the left is a rap and I rapped it as I typed it.  For a girl who grew up in some of the shittiest suburbs of Melbourne (you know, the areas where tracksuit pants are considered as formal evening wear), I was hooked on hip hop and obsessed with rap before my folks got me hooked on rice for breakfast (you’d think we’d be the fattest fucks in the world the way we consume rice – my mum had her first Big Mac with a side of rice all consumed with chinga brand chilli sauce & a pair of chopsticks).  I could relate to the themes of the hip hop genre with its talk of struggle and marginalisation.  Many Chinese elders in the community I knew also had gold teeth so I felt an affinity with the rap artists as well.  And when I think of the home of both hip hop and one of my fave rappers (Biggy Smalls) my thighs vibrate, I go crazy shaky and then I get all warm, sticky and moist (on my forehead) – I hit New York City for the 3rd time a few weeks ago and as usual the summer vibe there was rocking red hot and on smoky fire!  I didn’t just walk over the Brooklyn Bridge, baby I was dancing over it doing the ‘runnin’ man’ forwards, backwards and on the side with arms waving.  I looked like a smacked up Japanese tourist slash go-go-go dancer on fertile heat.  I love you New York!  And some fine buff bodied looking brothers of the city walking over that bridge too I found – made me go all warm, sticky and moist (on my forehead).          

Just an unanswered question from EmpressEv’s ‘Book of Why?’ that still puzzles me even after my triple visit to the States: Why has a snack food titled ‘Cheesy Nips’ been permitted to continue trade under this particularly ambiguous name?  And how has it done so without instigating racial rioting? Because when I think ‘Cheesy Nips’ I don’t think of a conveniently tasty & crunchy snack in a box, I think more of an image of some whacky Asian chick doing the ‘runnin’ man’ dancin’, skippin’ & gyratin’ over the Brooklyn Bridge…..


  1. um, excuuuuuuuuuuuse me, there aint nothin cheesy about the running man, no matter where you do it my friend!!! LOL or at least that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself……..

    Great laugh ev, makes the cold gloomy winter here easier to deal with!


    • Thank for clarifying D – tho now I’m more confused than ever as most Asians are lactose intolerant (?). ‘Soya Nips’ or ‘Sweet & Sour Nips’ would have made so much more sense – E xx


  2. Ahh Evelyn man am i jealous as a comic book nerd i want, fuck that, i need to go to NY. Oh and it made me laugh that you showed how urban your roots were by talking about being from supposedly shity suburbs. As for clothing, baseball caps are sexy as fuck. Just had to be said. Oh and upload pics.


  3. Dear Empress E

    do they do a yam nip?
    i really hope so after the bubble cup sensation and all…

    keep living it up babe!

    and about that bail money, i told you already, Kylie is working it, just a few more ‘clients’

    and remember… prison aint so bad, in the meantime, use that papaya gel on your dry, cracked lips!


    • Mista S, thanks to your advice that I try & ‘drop the soap’ as much as possible, I’m gonna need more than one tube of healing papaya … K can’t help –we both know she gets paid in coins, and that’s only if the bag stays on … We love u K & if you’re reading – Mista Sista makes me go there!!!


    • Obi One – apologies bro but I’m really bad with taking pics. I hate carrying heaps of shit with me when roaming around. So u gotta go there yourself & take it all in! And c’mon man – how do u expect me to break out the old skool hip hop moves arnd NYC carrying a damn camera?!


      • hahah does your camera look like this:


        With camera’s on phones being as good as they are nowadays that’s no excuse unless your phone is as shitty as mine. Oh and Eve, i wanna live vicariously through you! You wanna go there cos it’s the birthplace of hip hop, i wanna go there because it’s the mecca of comic book nerds. Ah well, one day.


    • I hear ya F! There’s just something about NYC that’s magic. I really love it there. Missed the Brooklyn Hip Hop Festival this yr so going to try & make it next year. Will have to polish my grill & find a clock to wear in preparation … – Exx


  4. Get your rap game on Evelyn! NYC is the place t be just not in the winter time or u will be a frozen nip thats for sure. Glad your going a few place this summer lets us know your not about all work and no play.


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